Beautiful. Worship is beautiful. Life is beautiful. I am so in love with beauty. I have been in and out of a journey for the past several months.....and I have found myself. I have found who I truly am and who I want to be. I have found that I am beautiful. I realize that God is in control. I realize that things need to change. I have come to an understanding that forgiveness is a need in life. Hope is something we all need. We must reach out and show others hope, because we know what it feels like when we ourselves don't have hope, and we don't wish that upon others. My heart has been heavy like so many of you out there in this big ball of rock and dirt. I am patching things up with my family, preparing for new life this year. My brothers are getting married to two wonderful young women, and one is having a baby this summer, so I will officially be an Aunt Charity come April. I am fighting my way to get to college because I only have three months left and once I get out, I will be independent and away from my parents and sister. This will really be hard for me, but the way we are now is no good. My relationship with my sister and parents needs a break, a bit of elbow room. Speaking of college, I am moving in August to Aquinas College. I haven't even visited it yet but that is where I am going. I have been in a search of what I really want to do with my life....for the past few years it has gone from fashion designer to chef to art teacher and has now rested on youth ministry and I am going to major in Theology. For me, this is a life changing experience. I feel like God is leading me in that direction because I want to change the world and share my faith to the world and be involved. I have this heart and it's longing to do amazing and powerful things. I was made to love and that is what I shall do. Loving is beautiful. Sharing the works of Jesus Christ is beautiful and so is being selfless and humble. God has been moving in my life and it feels so overwhelming thinking about it as I am writing this because for the past so many years I have been in and out of struggles with my faith, friends, family, and relationships and now things are falling into place. I am in love with the beauty of God's creation. We live in such a beautiful place. But there are still so many ugly things, things that aren't God worthy. This is why I want to do my best to change those things and minister to the youth and give up selfish dreams for the works of God. I am so grateful for all the things people have done in my life and how they have helped me. I thank my parents for loving me, and believeing in who I am and never giving up on me. I am thankful for all of my teachers and mentors for guiding me in my education and knowledge. I am thankful for the young adults in my life, especially Kimburley Carlson, who I have known for about four years. She will always be my big sister. I remember when I first met her on the bus to Aquire the fire and I sat next to her and she had safety suckers because her mom was of course, being a mom and the picture we took, her trying to eat my popsicle and I drinking something and it was just so fun. She is like the quote Don Miller writes in Blue like Jazz, "Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way." Every time I see Kimmi, my face lights up and she needs to know that she has impacted so many lives. She is one of my bestest friends and I thank her from the bottom of my heart for listening to me. I am thankful for the people I have gotten to know throughout the years, the kids at school, youth group, close up, and through other friends, you have all made me who I am and I carry your stories with me. My heart has the greatest burden and that is making sure our hearts cry's will be heard and that lives get changed. I love all of you so very much. Thank you for all you do. God bless all of you. Have a great week and may the sun shine for you always even though there may be clouds above your head.....
