Frank Frank Frank....oh how your melodies soothe me...I am giving up. I am giving up on trying to like a person or thinking that someone likes me. I am tired of it all. My self esteem has totally plummeted to near not having any and I can not focus like I usually can. My heart is entangled in something of a mess and I do not know what to do. I wish I could be in my mid twenties...and be like Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail or Keira Knightley in Pride & Prejudice...they ended up with great men whole loved them completely. I want a man to fall in love with me like James Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life when George falls in love with Mary when she grew up into a young woman and she had been waiting there in Bedford Falls...gah...I am a mess at the moment when dealing with this situation. I don't know if I know how to be in a relationship or what...I need to make a life plan for myself and just go with it and know that God is there with me and that I will make a difference in someone's life. I know that I deserve respect from a guy and that I should give them respect. But he has to prove himself to me and he is going to have to be willing to be patient with my feelings and my emotions. I am terribly shy and opening up can be hard for me and lately I feel like I'm not sure what direction I should go in. Lately I'm starting to think I'm not so much of a great girl as everyone is telling me. It would be nice however to start hearing that from guys...and not girls...yeah I love my friends but it would be nice to hear that I'm good looking to the opposite sex and that they could see me as more than a friend...I don't feel beautiful anymore and I am doubting my self and my confidence is sucky. I'm really lost and I don't like it one bit.
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