I'm sitting at my dining room table listening to music and trying to plow my way through this annotative bibliography and I am in the middle of crashing into a wall and I'm not sure when the recovering will start. I am full of doubts, questions, confusion, and hopes. I am loosing confidence in what I really want to do and I feel like giving up sometimes. My parents keep getting on me about things and remind me that college is not high school and I understand that. College is hard for me. Its something that I still haven't gotten used to. My dad says, "well maybe your not ready for college..." and I was like no...I have to do this...there isn't anything else for me to do...I'm not going to put off my education even more...I would be more miserable doing nothing. I'm not the best student when it comes to things, but when it comes to certain classes....I really want to learn and be apart of the class even though I may be shy...I really am interested and want to do my best...I don't want my best effort to be a C-. I feel pressure from my family to do this or to do that but its not exactly what I envision....well I envision changing the world and that's a little hard to do by yourself. I have to find what I want to do in life and just do it and find my own way. I want to help people and that's it...whatever the career be...it will be centered around helping people and doing right by them. I want to give others opportunities and hope. I'm tired of being this shy person who keeps hitting the wall and is passive about so many issues. It needs to change and I need to make a plan and establish it and be proactive. I want to prove it to the people who doubt me and to the people who love and support me and for myself....because I truly am my own worst enemy.
No comments:
Post a Comment